By Jim Kelly Jr.

Just when you thought high school football wasn’t big enough you’ve got celebrities infiltrating the media, not with what they’re doing on the field, but what their sons are doing. The Montana,Gretzky,Smith Capades

You think you got it easy? How about riding the coattails of your dad who happened to be the greatest player of his generation in professional sports.

You think you know pressure? How about riding the coattails of your dad who happened to be the greatest player of his generation in professional sports; and becoming good at his sport.

That’s Nick Montana, son of Joe and 49er folklore, who recently transferred to an ultra prep school in the CA (think the high school from The O.C.) to play quarterback and get more attention at his age than his dad got when he was 30. Sounds like the perfect father-son-sports-domination-story right? Until some pesky sophomore named Trevor has the skills to compete for the job and who happens to have a really Great dad, as in the Great One: Wayne Gretzky. Luckily whoever wins out the starting job for the next two years will be slinging passes to the real big man in the Wild Wild West: Trey Smith, son of actor Will Smith. That’s the story of this tabloid destined high school and the paparazzi that will follow a football team around because their players have famous dads for fans. As Hollywood gossip get’s younger the focus of a star’s child is bigger news than the star itself (Miley Cyrus isn’t helping), and watching the sons of former sports greats is no longer a cute sideline story from Erin Andrews (hell the Dark Ages would be a cute sideline story from Erin Andrews) but rather TMZ exclusive footage. The fact that Tom Cruise occasionally supports this football team from the home stands doesn’t help either.

So what if you’re the coach of this literally star studded team, and you decide to bench Montana in favor of Gretzky? Does Joe call you up and tell you that his son deserves a shot cause they’ve throw a lot of passes in the backyard? Are you going to tell him you know more about football than him? That’s like saying you know more about the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Oven (“set it and forget it!”) than Ron Popeil. It’s impossible. So you give in and start Montana, but then at 3am the next morning Wayne Gretzky is firing hockey pucks at your garage door that are leaving dents that read “Start my son at quarterback you jackass” (your garage door is big). So you calm Wayne down and tell him Nick Montana is a year older and should start this year, only to have Will Smith show up and get jiggy with you about the lack of passes to his son at wide receiver.

I say all this because in the press the fathers of these boys, and they are boys, will tell you they’re just supporting their sons in whatever they do; that their success isn’t their concern, but rather an added bonus. Yet everyone has seen, or owned, parents who’ve gone nuts at 4 year old soccer games or 6 year old tee ball games where kids are more concerned with peeing on the field than playing the game (at least I was). So it’s hard to imagine that Will Smith, an outgoing personality, and two of the greatest athletes of the last 30 years, will not stand up and say something when they feel their kid isn’t the shining star of their sports team. Daddy has been the shining star of America at one point or another, so the boys should be firmly rooted in the family business. These men are professionally famous though, so you’ll never see any one of these stars go nuts or call the MIB (any chance at a Will Smith reference I’m on it) on the field during a practice or a game in front of reporters who have nothing better to do than cover a high school prep team practice. They’ll call the coach at home, probably during dinner, and let him stutter his way out of explaining to top level, former ultra competitive greats that their son isn’t the starting quarterback, or to a guy who makes enough money per movie to buy coach’s soul on Ebay why his son isn’t the #1 wide receiver.

They say the great one’s are great due to their heightened competitive nature, guys like Woods, Jordan, and yes Montana and Gretzky, so it’ll be tough to believe that these guys will be able to handle the fact that the fruit of their loins aren’t living up to their legacy. So where does that leave their fruit, err, sons? Sure they have had anything they’ve ever wanted growing up, but are they trading that for a life of living in your father’s shadow? Are they going down of path that can never be truly rewarding because no one will let them forget how dear old dad did it? This would be the case for Nick Montana, playing the same position of his father and living a sports career that will be analyzed right down to his haircut (see: Chris Simms). As for Gretzky and Smith, neither went into the family business but had must have had so many opportunities growing up they could be ambassadors to foreign countries by now (small ones like Thailand, Mongolia, or Russia).

So now we’re forced to see Sportscenter highlights and on field interviews at high school football games that resemble the ESPYs more than a team sport. Maybe riding the coattails of your dad who happened to be the greatest player of his generation in professional sports isn’t the greatest thing in the world, as that world is filled with people placing you under a microscope and most likely hoping you’ll fail and post Jimmy Clausen or Vanessa Hudgens-like pictures on Facebook(please not like Vanessa gentlemen). But until then we’ll watch the spawn of celebrities and their heirs to greatness grow up in this potential-over-performance atmosphere, hoping that they remind us of the men they came from and the way they used to keep us entertained. And as Trevor Gretzky and Nick Montana battle it out for the quarterback slot for the next few years they can always find solace in their scared-off coach, their super dads, and their new favorite song: Just the Two of Us.